The Toxicity of Male Stereotypes

What is masculinity?

Some specific things usually come to mind. Maybe it’s strength. Perhaps it’s athleticism. It could even be outspokenness, courage, confidence-- the list goes on. As we crawl further towards accepting free expression of gender as a society, it’s becoming clear that masculinity in the traditional sense isn’t a cut-and-dry outline for how every man acts, but is rather a quality that each individual, male or female, can express in certain ways. Unfortunately, little progress has been made in dissolving the societal pressures put on men to conform to male stereotypes. As a result, all men, to some degree, have fallen victim to what is known as toxic masculinity: the adoption of specific masculine stereotypes that are harmful.

Defying these stereotypes can lead to branding and name-calling. Imagine: the so-called loser has had enough. He throws his books to the ground, his adrenaline spiking as his testosterone shows its fangs. A circle gathers. The chants echo into his ears: “C’mon! Hit him!” He knows he shouldn’t. He’s afraid of the consequences and knows his emotions well. He chooses to ignore them, knowing he’ll be ridiculed for backing down. Once the first punch is thrown, the rest is history. Not only does toxic masculinity cause the presence of harmful traits like aggression, but it discourages the presence of positive ones, such as free expression of emotion and rationality.

As he lays on the ground, nose bloodied and in pain, the crowd begins to dissolve as the judgemental eyes peering down onto him direct themselves elsewhere. He failed, and now he looks weak. He begins to feel tears welling up in his eyes, brought on by the awful concoction of pain and embarrassment. No, he can’t cry. It’ll only make him look weaker. He swallows his pride and storms off. He bottles these emotions, deciding to lock them away in self-defense.

That pain, the kind you bottle up, can do a lot more harm than one may realize. When you’re poured a glass of shame or vulnerability, it’s not easy to swallow. But if you choose to bottle it up, it’ll be stored in a place you can’t properly process it. It is inevitable that this bottle of dormant emotions will eventually be shaken, and when the cap can no longer contain the pressure, the results are exponentially worse.

A word of advice: emotions are not weakness. Rationality is not fear. And violence is not beneficial to anyone. It’s time we stop idolizing harmful male stereotypes and instead promote the admirable qualities that any person should have. If we want a healthier society, everyone must realize not just what it means to be a good man or a good woman, but what it means to be a good person. There is strength in emotion, there is courage in gentleness, and there is unmatched power in rationality— these are traits nobody should ever be ashamed of.